Just Let It Go
by Tunarh
Summary: ZC:AU. "I felt like I should be the first to tell you. Mr... Goode isn't... coming home." "What?" "He's gone, Cammie. I'm... sorry." one-shot; song-fic. OOC.


"I'm going on a mission."

"What?"

"And I might not return."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"Wait. Zach? Please. Don't go."

"I _have _to go. It's... important."

"What? How?! You said you'd quit."

"I did. But I didn't say I wouldn't go on any of those blackout missions. I'm sorry, Cam. I love you."

"Zach. Please. Don't. I can't- I don't think I can go through this without you."

"What? Through life? Cammie. You'll be fine. Trust me. But this is something I have to do. The CIA is relying on me to finish the war once and for all."

"But-"

"Cammie. I always come home, don't I? Don't worry about it. I'll come back in about three months."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

--

**never could imagine life without you  
from the moment you walked into my world  
never knew how long a loving flame would burn  
but losing you has forced me to learn  
that we can't change the way we feel inside  
and every try at love never turns out right  
we both know it's better if we just let it go**

--

I sat on her sofa, reflecting back on a few months ago. I had been so happy, so fun. But now? Now I wasn't what I was. I was...not-so-lively. I was depressed. I was so skinny, my face gaunt. The life had fallen from my eyes. And all because of... him.

She looked up at me from the other sofa, her hands wrapped around her knees. I gave her a tiny smile but it didn't reach my eyes. Nothing did these days. Ever since Zach.

"Cammie. It's been six months. You've got to get out of this apartment. I can't keep buying you groceries in brown paper bags anymore. I've got to get you away from here and all of those memories. We all know what happened with Zach. And I know that you haven't gotten over him yet."

She said that with a commanding tone in her. I knew she didn't mean it like that. All she wanted to do was make me happy. But I knew she was fed up with having to buy all these groceries for me. Having to do all the stuff that _I _was supposed to do. She didn't have any responsibilities around here. But she tried. She tried to make me happy. It just... nothing can cheer me up these days.

"Don't worry. I can do it myself. I may not go out but I can still survive on Mi Goreng or pizza or something. I dunno... just let it go. I'm not going to die or something. Don't worry about me. Go back to your life. Just pretend that I don't exist."

She sighed, looking annoyed. "You're wrong. You have died. Your soul has died. I can't stand seeing you so sad anymore. Come one. Come outside. Get some fresh air. I need you to get away from this place."

"I can't." A tear threatened to drop from my eye as I looked around. I forced it back. There was no way I was going to let her see me cry. I wrapped my hands around my knees and held on tighter, trying to hold myself together. He had promise her would come back, didn't he. And I had waited 6 months for him.

"Yes. You can. Now get out of here. Come on." I sighed. There was no way she was going to go without a fight. I let go of my knees and stood up.

"I... fine." I said, not wanting to go at all. The outside was something I had dreaded for half a year. It reminded me too much of... him.

"We're going to take a walk through the park. Come on. It might cheer you up." She said, walking me to my closet. Once I was all dressed and ready, she dragged me to the kitchen, forced me to eat, grabbed my keys and dragged me outside.

"A little fresh air won't hurt, I guess." I shrugged, following her.

The park was beautiful. It was full of autumn leaves and laughing children. Seeing them happy cheered me up. I looked across the playground and as my eyes zeroed on a small, tattered park bench, I suddenly felt myself remembering.

--

"You know what, Cammie?" Zach asked, leading me through the park and sitting down on a bench.

"What?" I sat down on his lap and he hugged his arms around me, the moonlight shining on both of us.

"I love you."

"I love you too. But I know that's not what you were about to tell me."

Zach chuckled, shaking his head.

"Remember what I told you yesterday?" He said, suddenly sounding nervous. I laughed.

"Sure. I remember."

"How about we do something before I leave? Something to remember?"

"Alright fine." I said before kissing him.

--

**so let's have one last kiss, one last touch  
one last tender moment between us  
one last dance to our first song  
while pretending there's nothing wrong  
lets lay here for a while and cherish every moment we're in denial  
we both know its better if we just let it go**

**--**

"You want to go somewhere tonight? I mean, this bench isn't exactly the most comfortable place."

"I'm not sure. Where do you want to go?"

"I know a place."

--

"Why are we here, Zach?" I asked as we entered a restaurant.

"What? I can't take my girlfriend dancing?"

"We're going dancing?"

"Why not? It seems fun."

I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed, turning to the waiter and asking him for a table. The guy smiled, leading us to a table next to the dance floor, smiling and taking our orders. I laughed as he went away.

"Is he always that friendly?"

"Sure. I've known him all my life." Zach said. "Let's go dance before he comes back with the food."

I laughed again as he twirled me around and onto the dance floor, almost forgetting about the fact that he wasn't going to be next to me tomorrow.

--

**every time I try to make a stand at all  
I see your face again and I fall  
in the middle of the night there's a scent of a rose  
the smell of your perfume I suppose  
but we can't change the way we feel inside  
and every try at love never turns out right  
we both know its better if we just let it go**

--

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he led us around the dance floor. "If I remember correctly, this was the first song that we ever danced to."

"Yeah." He said, smiling. "Wow. A twist of fate, perhaps."

I laughed. "Since when did you go all cheesy on me?"

"I dunno. It's probably because I love you."

"You know I feel the same way about you too." I said before pressing my lips against his. A tear rolled down my cheek as I pressed my face against his shoulder, remembering that he wasn't going to be next to me when I wake up tomorrow morning.

--

"You want to go?" he asked as we sat at the table, eating.

"I dunno. I want to spend time with you."

"Just let it go, Cammie. You know I'm coming back. I always do."

"But what if you don't? That would kill me."

"Cammie..."

"I... can't. I can't let it go. I just have a feeling, that's all."

Zach shook his head, blinking.

"Don't worry. I promise I'll come back to you. Ok?"

"Ok."

--

**so let's have one last kiss, one last touch  
one last tender moment between us  
one last dance to our first song  
while pretending there's nothing wrong  
lets lay here for a while and cherish every moment we're in denial  
we both know its better if we just let it go**

--

"Let's go to the park again."

"Why?"

"I just want to spend time with you."

I sighed, and then smiled. "Ok fine." I said, getting up and pulling Zach with me.

We reached an open space, a field of sorts. The night sky loomed over us as we turned to face each other. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his again, closing my eyes. He kissed me back slowly and sweetly. The kiss was passionate, sweet.

I lay down, breaking away from the kiss and looking at the stars. "You know they say that stars interpret the future?"

Zach looked at me weirdly, a smile on his face. "Since when did you go gypsy?"

I shrugged. "I just... remember. Something my father told me."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him so that I was pressed against his chest. I breathed in his natural musky smell, and buried my face in his chest, glad to be in his arms.

--

"I love you."

"You know you've said that many times today?"

"What? You don't want me to say it?" he asked, pouting. I laughed, playfully slapping him.

"Of course I do. I love you too."

"Glad to hear it, Morgan."

"Happy to say it, Goode."

--

**maybe if we met each other under a different sky  
maybe then things would be much better between you and I  
we can always hold on to this one special thing we share  
but it would be too much for us to bare**

--

"What time do you need to be there?"

"Three."

"Um... ok."

"I won't be long. I promise. I'll come back to you."

"You sure?"

"Since when have I not?"

"True."

I leaned up and kissed him, my arms going around his neck. He lifted me up and placed me on the bed, smiling.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. It's a few months. Not forever."

"But why does it feel like it's going to be?"

Zach chuckled. "It won't be. I promise."

"You've said that word a lot today. So much that it almost seems true."

"It is."

"How could you be so sure?"

"I'm not. I just believe it is."

"You know if we weren't spies, our life would be a hundred times easier?"

"Of course. But it's not like I could choose not to be a spy. It's part of who I am. And a part of who you are too."

"I love it when you say those things."

"You love every single part of me."

"I do."

"And I love you too."

--

**so let's have one last kiss, one last touch  
one last tender moment between us  
one last dance to our first song  
while pretending there's nothing wrong  
lets lay here for a while and cherish every moment we're in denial  
we both know its better if we just let it go  
let it go let it go**

--

"Miss Morgan?"

"Director?"

"I felt like I should be the first to tell you. Mr... Goode isn't... coming home."

"What?"

"He's gone, Cammie. I'm... sorry."

"But-"

"He didn't check in with us. It's been a month and a half. I'm sorry."

"He promised. He promised he'd come back for me."

"You're a spy, Cammie. You know that promises aren't kept in our world."

I distinctly remembered running out of the place and locking myself in my room before I burst into tears, the salty water running down my cheeks in waves. I cried until the water in my eyes had completely dried out. Macey, Liz and Bex attempted to liven me up the following days. But nothing could cheer me up. I had lost the most important thing in my life.

--

"Cammie?"

"What?"

"Are you there? You kind of blanked out for a bit." Macey said before sighing. "You've got to let it go, Cam. Or else you're never going to move on."

I sighed, looking at all the happy couples, parents and children around the park. Straightening my shoulders, I faced Macey. "I know."

"I've got to let it go."

--

**So, er, hi. Yeah... hi.  
So, the song's by 4tune. Named Just Let It Go. Yeah. That part was obvious. You like?  
****  
thingstoknow/reviewquestions  
****-Cammie was OOC  
-and so was Zach.  
-do you, uh, like the layout?  
-do the lyrics fit?  
****-jérémy kapone + seb mategna. yeah, uh, just sayng =D**

**Catch ya,  
Tunarh**


End file.
